This is so simple and not. We are here as fellow believers to encourage you in your challenge. YeHoVaH does have you and us in his hands; it is His plan. Paul had this covered in his letter to the believers in Philippi:
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Praying is listening to YeHoVaH. Sharing your questions. Waiting, trusting YeHoVaH in His plan. Paul goes on with some tools for us.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
Yes, challenges are still in front of you. YeHoVaH’s ways are not just giggles and comfy feelings. He loves us and wants us to grow and learn. Growing and learning can hurt. The hurt is not fun, the understanding and change is worth it. These tools from Paul give us focus on the tools to our challenges.
By day YeHoVaH directs His love, at night his song is with me—a prayer to the God of my life.
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Shalom, my brothers and sisters in our Lord Yeshua HaMashiach,
I ask for your prayers for my wife Alina and me. We have been living apart since November 2024. In 2021, our heavenly Father began to draw me closer and closer to Him. From August 2021 to December 2021, I was hospitalized in a psychiatric clinic for depression. There I came into contact with Jehovah's Witnesses, with whom I began to study the Bible after some hesitation. I was allowed to learn that our heavenly Father has a name, which overwhelmed me so much that I wanted to share it with everyone.
I also learned that Christmas and Easter are traditions that are not pleasing to our God.
After the hospital, the Father finally led me to His Torah, and my eyes were opened when I was able to understand Matthew 5:17-20 for the first time with open eyes through Michael Rood's Chronological Gospels in an episode of the series.
I began to keep the Sabbath and, little by little, through the Father's grace, I learned about God's feasts and dietary laws.
Between 2022 and 2024, there were repeated conflicts between my wife and me, as well as between my in-laws and me, due to different interpretations of the Bible.
At that time, I made the mistake of proactively approaching others and trying to convert them with words, instead of simply setting an example and allowing myself to be changed by my heavenly Father. I focused too much on convincing others around me with words and prepared Bible studies to convince others of my point of view that the Torah is still valid, instead of focusing on my own transformation and striving to become more like Yeshua.
When I began tapering off my antidepressant sertraline, which I had been taking since my hospital stay in the fall of 2021, in February 2024, my mental health deteriorated again around March or April 2024. Some time after Passover 2024, I experienced severe mental turmoil, including fears that I had lost my eternal salvation and would end up in the lake of fire.
Weeks and months passed with terrible fears and a state in which I was tormented almost around the clock with blasphemous thoughts and other terrible thoughts. Reluctantly, I started taking antidepressants again. In September 2024, I finally admitted myself to a psychiatric clinic again.
In the clinic, I reflected and realized how I had treated my wife wrongly in the weeks and months before and how I had hurt her and her parents with my behavior. After the clinic, my wife did not want me to return to our shared apartment. I don't know if it was because she was afraid of me due to my mental state. In any case, she said she couldn't stay in the same apartment with me.
I left the apartment to her so that she wouldn't have to move out and to accommodate her and allow her to heal.
I went to a fellow believer to stay there temporarily and to have regular fellowship with brothers and sisters in faith. Subsequently, I joined a church in Cologne, where I still live to this day.
In the meantime, thanks to the grace of our heavenly Father, I was able to reflect a lot and realize that I had not lived out the commandments properly, or had even added things to them, thus making it a burden to live according to the commandments, which must have put my wife off in many ways.
I wanted to prove to my wife that I had learned a lot and that I would now behave differently.
We had a few conversations, but in the end, she filed for divorce through her lawyer last year.
It must be said that she has not yet recognized the Sabbath or realized that our God abhors pagan traditions such as Easter and Christmas. She has not yet recognized that the Torah is still valid.
I initially agreed to her request for divorce, which I regret in hindsight. So yesterday, I sent a revocation of my consent to the divorce petition to the district court. I told the court that Yeshua is my Lord and that I believe in His words and teachings.
I told the court that Yeshua is my Lord and that I believe in His words and teachings.
I quoted the relevant passages in which Yeshua teaches about marriage and divorce, as well as the passage from Paul's letters, and based my arguments on these and other passages in which we are called to always forgive and bear with one another. I referred to God's Word in my argument for wanting to maintain my marriage and not wanting to divorce. May our heavenly Father be glorified through this testimony!
I also wrote my wife a long letter for the second time, in which I highlighted all the positive things about our marriage and the time we spent together in our relationship.
Please pray that our heavenly Father will reveal the Sabbath to her, that He will clearly show her in His Holy Word that the commandments are still valid.
Please pray that Alina will remember all the positive things and the things we have in common, which we are able to share thanks to the grace of our heavenly Father, as well as how wonderfully we complemented each other in so many ways. That she may focus more on the positive things, which clearly outweigh the supposedly negative ones.
Please pray that Alina may forgive me with all her heart and relent and reconsider the divorce and realize how precious and valuable the time together and marriage that Abba has given us is.
There has been no adultery on our part. Neither of us has ever cheated on the other.
I can only assume that our different beliefs and interpretations of the Bible are the reason for her decision to divorce, as well as the fact that I tried to convert Alina using the wrong approach and left a lot of scorched earth behind.
Please pray that Yehovah will reveal the truth to Alina regarding the validity of the Torah and that Yehovah will heal and restore this marriage.